Today, it's rainy and kinda chilly! But thats ok - better then the alternative. 10 inches of snow! lol
I've been challenged lately, well~ since the weekend. My hubby has changed his lifestyle. Something I've been praying for him (for some time now). He has been faithful to this " Life change" (diet) but has become increasingly diva! GrouchO ... Which has left me - feeling at home in the egg carton. I haven't exactly been supportive. Not the way He needs me to be. See, I've been trying very hard to encourage him - fixing dinners, helping him keep a daily food journal, asking about the gym... with out noticing, I've helped in exhausting his enthusiasm. Almost to the point that he feels oppressed. Like, he can't breath w/ out someone asking him about his diet. Whether it's me, his dad, his mom, his sister.... or mine for that matter... One would think it would be encouraging - Not my Steven. HE seems to think that everyone is on his case!
I have to say, I didn't see this until I talked to K (briefly) yesterday. Just by her encouraging me to give him a hug... it started me thinking about him... in a different way. (sigh) cause whew... I wasn't thinking of him in that capacity - I was thinking... I'm gonna have to send postcards from the loony ben! lol.. ( all joking aside) it was painful- hurtful at best.
I took K up on her suggestion and last night after dinner, I gave my hubby some hugs - and snuggles... it seemed to work! lol.. Today, we had another little strain - but I think after 18 years of being w/ him... I should get him... I should see into him instead of into my own frustrations. I'm gonna try to see his needs and respect the boundaries he needs me to - and in that, I will meet him at the finish line - with open arms...
This month will mark our 14th wedding anniversary... Wow... we've come a looong way - and I know that we still have mountains and Vally's to cross. May I always see my husband the way Christ does.
" Loving others isn't always easy, but when we put them first - before ourselves - something wonderful happens... Peace and a gentle understanding of what love is meant to be... selfless"
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Thursday, March 5, 2009
The eye of the Storm...
Wow! The past few months have been something. Our family, has been blessed tremendously in the past. God has truly given us soo much. The last few months - work has been extremely slow. Resulting in me getting laid off (in Feb) . This has been a true test of faith for me. Not that I didn't believe in Christ, but that I truly trusted in Him and lean not on my own understanding but on HIs.
Our family( like many other Americans) have been hit by a Huge Storm. This storm has grabbed our financial system by the tail and gave many good yanks. Shaking up our lives... This isn't a Katrina, one where flood waters destroy - leaving levees broken... but this is similar in comparison... This is a storm that has slowly snuck up behind us- while our focus was on other things... ONe that is robbing people of their homes, livelihoods, saved retirements and soo much more. This storm - is just as devastating as Katrina was... It's leaving people in a place of despair - a place of wondering, a place where there seems to be no means to an end... How could this happen to a once booming and thriving economy? This is a question - that sits in many minds - from all different demo graphs and social outlets.
I can't speak for anyone else, But I can say... That as a Christian, I'm learning the meaning of my faith again... The depths of it & what it truly means to walk in it... Day by day... leaning not on my own understanding but on my Saviors.
I've struggled and failed. I've fallen and He has picked me back up. I've cried & whined - He has listened. I've asked and received. I've rested - while He has sheltered. I've been still & He has administered to my soul. He has given direction and I've followed... I've fought & He has waited. I've submitted & He has loved me. I've given up my own will & traded for His.
I wonder why It's taken soo long for me to open my eyes to what was standing right in front of me... I wonder why it's soo easy to be side tracked with other things - when all we are to be...First... is a child of Gods... I wonder why, it takes sorrow to see Gods direction... Self, is such a wild and woolly thing...
I stand here now to testify, that I've not been who I was called to be. I've been self sufficient, self engrossed, self absorbed... dealing with things that have been, things that could be, things that might come to pass... Not with the here and now. Not the things that would further the Kingdom of heaven... like... witnessing, sharing and spreading the Good news of Christ with others. I've been stagnate, complacent and all the things that are in the grey area... Perhaps thats why I stopped blogging. The burn for the Lord had been stifled by my own self will and self focus. The focus of dismay (from past church conflicts, relationship struggles ) took my focus off of Christ and placed it on how I was feeling, how I was affected by this or that, how it made me feel or what it did to others... took the focus off Christ... WHAT a Tragedy... What time wasted...
I'm standing here, proclaiming - my life is changed... Not only because of our life change... but it's about time... I picked up the cross and carried it - sharing it and living for my Savior... Completely and utterly...
In the eye of this storm, My Lord is holding me... carrying me - and comforting me as I witness all the devastation it's leaving in its path...
Thank you Father, for all you are doing - for the provisions you've sent. Thank you for all the blessings I've encountered... I love you... I thank you for showing me the places in my heart that were sealed up in darkness - Thank you for shining light on them and opening the rooms of my soul up to be cleansed and free from bondage and burden...Thank you Lord for today... Help me to see you in everything as I pass by... I praise you Lord... You are my heart, My life - You are everything to me...
Our family( like many other Americans) have been hit by a Huge Storm. This storm has grabbed our financial system by the tail and gave many good yanks. Shaking up our lives... This isn't a Katrina, one where flood waters destroy - leaving levees broken... but this is similar in comparison... This is a storm that has slowly snuck up behind us- while our focus was on other things... ONe that is robbing people of their homes, livelihoods, saved retirements and soo much more. This storm - is just as devastating as Katrina was... It's leaving people in a place of despair - a place of wondering, a place where there seems to be no means to an end... How could this happen to a once booming and thriving economy? This is a question - that sits in many minds - from all different demo graphs and social outlets.
I can't speak for anyone else, But I can say... That as a Christian, I'm learning the meaning of my faith again... The depths of it & what it truly means to walk in it... Day by day... leaning not on my own understanding but on my Saviors.
I've struggled and failed. I've fallen and He has picked me back up. I've cried & whined - He has listened. I've asked and received. I've rested - while He has sheltered. I've been still & He has administered to my soul. He has given direction and I've followed... I've fought & He has waited. I've submitted & He has loved me. I've given up my own will & traded for His.
I wonder why It's taken soo long for me to open my eyes to what was standing right in front of me... I wonder why it's soo easy to be side tracked with other things - when all we are to be...First... is a child of Gods... I wonder why, it takes sorrow to see Gods direction... Self, is such a wild and woolly thing...
I stand here now to testify, that I've not been who I was called to be. I've been self sufficient, self engrossed, self absorbed... dealing with things that have been, things that could be, things that might come to pass... Not with the here and now. Not the things that would further the Kingdom of heaven... like... witnessing, sharing and spreading the Good news of Christ with others. I've been stagnate, complacent and all the things that are in the grey area... Perhaps thats why I stopped blogging. The burn for the Lord had been stifled by my own self will and self focus. The focus of dismay (from past church conflicts, relationship struggles ) took my focus off of Christ and placed it on how I was feeling, how I was affected by this or that, how it made me feel or what it did to others... took the focus off Christ... WHAT a Tragedy... What time wasted...
I'm standing here, proclaiming - my life is changed... Not only because of our life change... but it's about time... I picked up the cross and carried it - sharing it and living for my Savior... Completely and utterly...
In the eye of this storm, My Lord is holding me... carrying me - and comforting me as I witness all the devastation it's leaving in its path...
Thank you Father, for all you are doing - for the provisions you've sent. Thank you for all the blessings I've encountered... I love you... I thank you for showing me the places in my heart that were sealed up in darkness - Thank you for shining light on them and opening the rooms of my soul up to be cleansed and free from bondage and burden...Thank you Lord for today... Help me to see you in everything as I pass by... I praise you Lord... You are my heart, My life - You are everything to me...
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